Funny Dog Quotes

This is a list of my favorite funny dog quotes.

Dogs are really the center of happiness in the lives of many people and there is no better way to realize the significant role our canine friends play in our lives than through well-thought jokes.

Here are some of the best and funny dog quotes to keep you laughing for days:

Funny Dog Quotes

1. Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And none of them are wrong. -W.R. Purche

2. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. -Sue Murphy

3. The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they’ll settle for a puppy every time. -Winston Pendleton

4.The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs. -Charles de Gaulle

5. It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass. -Rodney Dangerfield

Best funny dog quotes

6. I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother. -Bonnie Schacter

7. Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job. -Franklin P. Jones

8. I like dogs. You always know what a dog is thinking. It has four moods. Happy, sad, cross, and concentrating. Also, dogs are faithful and they do not tell lies because they cannot talk. -Mark Haddon

9. What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job. -George Carlin

10. Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.

Christopher Hitchens

11. My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty. -Elayne Boosler

12. When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. -Edward Abbey

13. You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog. -Harry S Truman

14. All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn’t a dog. Charles M Schulz

15. Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones

16. Dog is God spelled backward. -Duane Chapman

Funny Dog Captions For Instagram

funny dog captions for Instagram

17. Everything is pawsome.

18. We have the ulti-mutt friendship.

19. The more men I meet, the more I love my dog.

20. I love my pup furry much.

21. What kind of dog doesn’t bark? A hush puppy!

22. I’m mutts about my dog.

23. Can’t keep the pup-arazzi away.

24. This friendship is fur real.

25. My therapist has four legs and a tail.

26. Dog hair is my go-to accessory.

27. It’s my paw-ty, I can bark if I want to!

28. Paw-perazzi caught me doin’ my thing again!

29.Thanks fur the memories.

30. Just taking some time to paws and reflect.

31. EmBARKing on a new journey.

More Funny Dog Quotes

32. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window. -Steve Bluestone

33. I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop! -Jonah Goldberg

34. A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost. -Charlotte Gray

more funny dog quotes

35. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner

36. You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that! -Dave Barry

37. Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted. -Sian Ford

38. A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.

Helen Thomson

39. In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. -Derek Bruce

40. My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein

41. To err is human — to forgive is canine. -Unknown


Dogs are a source of happiness for many families and households. What are some of your favorite dog quotes that remind you of all the funny moments you have had with your canine friend?